Remember When it Rained
by Gaelcelt
Summary: Steve/Bucky slash. Songfiction: Josh Groban's "Remember When it Rained". After his first battle with the Winter Soldier, Steve is clearly upset. When Natasha questions him, she learns more about the Winter Soldier-her mentor- and Steve than she ever knew. Second segment of the "Our Saga" series.


These characters are not mine.

Steve/Bucky slash. Songfiction. Steve, after meeting the Winter Soldier, recognizes him instantly: Bucky. The man he loved, who he thought was dead, was alive?! Josh Groban's song "Remember When It Rained" is a perfect fit. This follows the story "A Time For Us".

Remember When It Rained

"You look like you've seen a ghost, Rogers," Tony remarked, "Did the Winter Soldier scare you that badly?"

"Oh, lay off of him," Pepper snapped, noticing how shaken that Steve looked. Tony just rolled his eyes and turned back to his charts. Natasha and Thor shook their heads in scorn before their gaze settled on Steve.

He leaned against the window and watched the waning sunset and the way that the colors danced along the gathering storm clouds. Could such a scene have been more perfect?

_Wash away the thoughts inside  
That keep my mind away from you.  
No more love and no more pride  
And thoughts are all I have to do._

"Steve?" Natasha's voice caught his attention. He turned to face her, concern written all over her face, "Yes?"

"What's bothering you? I've never seen you so upset," Natasha was blunt but her worry was evident, "I could have sworn that you recognized the Winter Soldier, too."

Steve did a double-take, "Wait… did you say that you recognize him, too?"

She nodded, "He trained me. I never got his whole story under the Soviets, but he was my mentor."

Steve tried not to let his distress show, "I knew him… we grew up together in Brooklyn."

"Yes, I always recognized that he had an American accent when I was his student," Natasha replied.

"His name is James Buchanan Barnes… his nickname is "Bucky"…" Steve said, feeling the wounds that he thought he had closed reopening with a vengeance, "…He was everything to me…!"

_Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.  
Felt the ground and looked up high  
And called your name.  
Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.  
In the darkness I remain._

"Everything?" Natasha cocked an eyebrow, "How do you mean?"

Steve fought to keep a straight face, although he knew that his face would soon twist in agony. He trembled, feeling chills and the dull ache in his heart rushing over him again. Despite his best efforts, Natasha noticed his distress.

"You loved him, didn't you?" She said gently, realizing instantly.

Steve nodded, tight-lipped, gasping to himself, "Bucky…! I thought you were dead…!"

_Tears of hope run down my skin.  
Tears for you that will not dry.  
They magnify the one within  
And let the outside slowly die._

The dam finally burst. Before Steve knew, months of suppressed pain spilled down his cheeks. Natasha pulled him close, "Shhh, it's all right, Steve-!" she stroked his back as he shook with sobs, "Just let it out."

It scared Natasha to see Captain America so distraught. "What happened?! What's wrong?" Pepper was suddenly beside them, equally stunned, with Tony sauntering over to see what the commotion was about.

"Captain?!" Tony exclaimed, "What's all this about?"

Natasha gave Tony a wary look as she held a man who was beside himself before she turned to Steve, curious about what his story, "Steve, if you can, I'd like to know what happened so we can help in any way we can."

"I'm sorry, I've held that in for so long," Steve's voice was fragile, his face flushed, "I thought that he was dead…!"

"Don't apologize, Steve," Pepper reassured, "You've done nothing wrong. Just tell us what's wrong."

Natasha nodded in agreement, "Who, Steve? Who is the Winter Soldier?"

Steve steadied himself as best as he could and told them about Bucky and their life together, including how he'd saved Bucky from HYDRA. But when he described the train, the knot in his throat tightened again and tears burned his eyes again.

"Zola fired and Bucky was holding my shield to deflect the shot… it threw him from the train-! I saw him hanging onto a handrail and… I-I tried to grab him, but he fell…! I'm sorry, I can't go on…!"

The trio who surrounded him were pale with shock as Steve turned his back to them, shaking. They hadn't realized that Steve had been shouldering such a burden.

"I was afraid to grieve after his fall… I could have drawn attention to myself, I could have been destroyed…" Steve went on softly, "And after I destroyed Schmidt's airship, I didn't care if I died. I just wanted Bucky…! I wanted to be with him again…!"

_Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.  
I felt the ground and looked up high  
And called your name.  
Ohhhhhh Remember when it rained.  
In the water I remain  
Running down_

"Steve," Natasha whispered, "If the Winter Soldier is who you think he is, we can still catch him."

"I know," Steve murmured brokenly, "I know that he's Bucky…! But what if he's not himself anymore, what if he's been brainwashed too deeply to be rescued…?"

"There's still a chance, Steve," Tony put his hand on Steve's shoulder, "We won't know until we've caught him, but he is in there."

Steve nodded, sighing to calm himself as tears streaked his face, filling him with new hope.

_Running down  
Running down  
Running down  
Running down  
Running down  
Running down _

Fin.


End file.
